So this whole second baby thing has been fine with me all along. Until today. It just really hit me tonight that we will be a family of four in a matter of days. It's just a weird concept to me. I'm sure that when this baby comes it will feel as though she has been a part of our family forever but until then I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole idea.
And I'm not just talking like, "Wow - that's kind of weird but whatever" kind of feeling.
I'm talking like, "What in the heck am I going to do? How will I function? How will Ellie feel? What if I can't take care of all of us? What have I gotten myself into?" kind of feelings.
How do you deal with those feelings?
Tonight as we were putting Ellie to bed and snuggling her I had this overwhelmingly intense urge to hold her and never ever let her go. I mean never. I just wanted to hold her and tell her I love her and tell her that everything would be okay and to not be sad that mommy can't give her as much attention as she once did and that mommy loves her more than she will ever know.
Once she was asleep I crawled back in bed with her and snuggled her again and just cried on her pillow because I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now having just moved to a different house, having a different bedroom and a different bed, new daily routines, new rules, a new ward and new nursery leaders, having daddy gone more because he has a 30 minute commute to work, and having a very pregnant mommy who isn't as patient as she should be. It has got to be so hard on her and I didn't really consider all of that until tonight and I just cried and cried because I feel so bad for her and it's about to get worse for her with a new baby sister. I know she will be so excited about her but at the same time it will be yet another huge change for her that is beyond her control.
Does anyone have any advice for how to help Rob and I help her deal with all these huge changes going on? Or any advice for me for going from one kid to two? Because I'm freaking out a little here.
I'm talking like, "What in the heck am I going to do? How will I function? How will Ellie feel? What if I can't take care of all of us? What have I gotten myself into?" kind of feelings.
How do you deal with those feelings?
Tonight as we were putting Ellie to bed and snuggling her I had this overwhelmingly intense urge to hold her and never ever let her go. I mean never. I just wanted to hold her and tell her I love her and tell her that everything would be okay and to not be sad that mommy can't give her as much attention as she once did and that mommy loves her more than she will ever know.
Once she was asleep I crawled back in bed with her and snuggled her again and just cried on her pillow because I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now having just moved to a different house, having a different bedroom and a different bed, new daily routines, new rules, a new ward and new nursery leaders, having daddy gone more because he has a 30 minute commute to work, and having a very pregnant mommy who isn't as patient as she should be. It has got to be so hard on her and I didn't really consider all of that until tonight and I just cried and cried because I feel so bad for her and it's about to get worse for her with a new baby sister. I know she will be so excited about her but at the same time it will be yet another huge change for her that is beyond her control.
Does anyone have any advice for how to help Rob and I help her deal with all these huge changes going on? Or any advice for me for going from one kid to two? Because I'm freaking out a little here.
6 comments:
Oh Max, you are so cute. I got teary (like always) reading this. I don't have advice for you. Hopefully you will have it for me when the time comes. I'm so excited about trying for baby #2 but when I really think about it sometimes, I get a wave of anxiety of "how am I going to do this?" You are going to be fabulous. You have so much love to give. I know this. I have been a recipient of your love, and there really is nothing like it in this world. Calm your fears, your daughters, will NEVER question the love of their mother. Love you Max. You will be in my constant thoughts and prayers until the next love of your life arrives!!!
You're such a great mom! I remember feeling overwhelmed at the thought of a second child. And I also worried about Karter- he was my baby! Ty did take most of my time away from Karter, but I just had to remember to make special time for me and him each day. And now, in no time, they have become the greatest little friends and playmates even with their age difference. I wish I could say something to help you feel better, but I'm sure you'll find out in no time that everyone will adjust better than you think! Best wishes! :)
I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do! It is scary and hard to accept the fact that there will be another new baby that will consume a lot of your time. Just make sure you spend a little quality time with Ellie each day. She's young...she'll adjust. I'm already feeling the same kind of feelings about #3... and it's definately kind of scary! But you'll make it work, somehow it all seems to work out.
Dude, thank you for voicing this. I've been having all the same emotions. Our circumstances are WAY too similar right now -- we're in the middle of the moving process, so I worry about our daughter adjusting to a new apartment and a new baby. Plus the baby will come and a week later Ben will start his program at school, which means he'll be away 12 hours a day ... not something any of us are used to. I just wish at the very least I could spread out all these big changes. But as freaked out as I am for my little girl, deep down I think I know she'll handle it better than I will. Sure, changes to the routine impact her quite a bit. But at the same time, she's changing every day, so she's kind of used to it. Me on the other hand ... maybe I'm the one I'm really worried for.
But we'll get through it! And then once we do, we'll probably be so grateful that it all fell at once, rather than being one change after another for a solid 12 months or something.
hey there. . .its OK!! Believe me when I tell you that kids adjust so much better than we do. Take it from a mom who has built during each pregnancy and moved with each baby. As long as she has you to run to when it really counts the rest all becomes part of a grand adventure! You are her constant and that is all that matters. My kids just understand really well the concept that as long as we are together it is home. As far as having two goes I will tell you honestly it was my hardest adjustment but that is because I simply needed to alter my expectations. Errands will take longer...chores will wait and it is OK! Just enjoy it! love Jen
I have to echo Bri's comments. Sorry that I don't have any advice but I know you are amazing and just that fact that you are worried about it shows how much love you have for both your girls. You are such an awesome woman and your girls are never going to doubt your love for them or their importance in your eyes. I love you hermana!!
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