This has been weighing on my mind very heavily the few months. I hope you don't mind that I share this here. Since I had Ellie I have been a breastfeeding advocate and a supporter of child-led weaning. I nursed Ellie until she was two. Gradually she nursed less as she began eating more solid foods. She ate and drank anything we put in front of her. The last four months or so of our nursing time we were only nursing once or twice a day at nap time and sometimes at bed time. I was sad when she weaned because I knew that meant she was growing up and she didn't need me like she did before. I missed the quiet snuggle time we had together. But she was and still is happy and thriving and well-adjusted.
So naturally when Piper came along I nursed her on demand just like I did with Ellie. It has gone really well although Piper doesn't really love eating food even now at 21 months old which complicates things. I never thought I would have a picky eater and it drives me crazy. And she is cranky because I think she is hungry much of the time and because she is hungry, she wants to nurse often. When I say often I mean she asks to nurse at least every three hours on most days. Sometimes more, sometimes less but I don't see her wanting to wean anytime soon.
Edited to add: I don't nurse her every three hours, that's just how often she asks to nurse.
Edited to add: I don't nurse her every three hours, that's just how often she asks to nurse.
Here is my dilemma:
nursing is becoming a source of contention between Piper and I.
Not all the time, mind you, but there are times when she asks to nurse that I feel a little resentful or angry because I think to myself, "She just nursed an hour ago." or "We just ate lunch." or "You are almost two years old, you should not want to nurse this much!" Then I feel guilty for thinking these things and feeling the way I do. I don't want to quit cold turkey. I still enjoy nursing her most of the time but I also don't want to keep nursing her until she is three or four. I also understand that nursing is also a source of comfort for her and I don't want her to feel abandoned. I want her to know I still need her and love her and want to snuggle.
So I need some advice. How should I handle this? Do I keep nursing on demand? Do I wean her right now? How do I cut back without suffering the wrath of a very determined 21 month old? I have tried distracting her, offering food, snacks, drinks, toys, walks outside, you name it. She will be distracted for about two minutes and will go right back to asking, "Niss-you?" (Nurse) and looking at me with those big beautiful eyes which are super hard to resist.
Any advice for me?
4 comments:
That is a tough one. Every 3 hours is like nursing a newborn. Maybe you could flat out say no and that she can only do it at nap time and bedtime? It might be hard for a while, but she will get the idea and maybe start eating more. Or you can go on a trip and not pump and tell here "milk is all gone". I really have no good advice. You know I am a huge BF advocate, but I also think waiting for kids to self wean can be hard with certain kids. I really wish I would have known I wouldn't be pregnant, because I would have nursed Caleb until he was 2. But picturing nursing him at almost 3 just wouldn't work for me. GOOD LUCK! I would love to hear what you decide.
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I don't have any experience in that, Liv self weaned just great. However, I did have a friend with a similar problem. She cut feedings shorter and shorter and then slowly eliminated one feeding at a time. Kids are so different but maybe that would help. Good luck!
I am not much help to you here Monica, Naomi was done around a year, and so was I :) But now I wish I would have encouraged her to nurse a little longer. I think maybe the best thing would be to do what someone else suggested above...Just tell her no except for at nap time and bedtime. I am sure she will get the idea and will not be offended for long. She will start eating more food, and become a little more independent....But you will still get to snuggle and nurse her on a more desireable schedule....It will nudge her a bit in the direction of weening. Good Luck with it! Keep us posted on how things go.
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